#Goals

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I’ve struggled with writing this post or something similar to it for quite some time.  Part of the problem is I’m not terribly eloquent, and I so want to get the tone and the message on my heart right. 

I love social media: Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, you name it.  I love sharing photos and experiences, getting feedback from friends and scrolling through snippets of life from celebrities, bloggers, brands.  I love the cute babies, the gorgeous fashion and the products – oh Lord, the products!  But lately over the last few months, I’ve felt a stirring in my heart; a questioning of my motivation and maybe even conviction regarding my attitude and approach to social sharing.  I think of these things even more now, as I try to figure how I will parent little Nola through all of the messages our culture throws at us.

Several months ago, when Nola first started her adorable little “army crawl” I received this picture from her daycare:
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You can see her, making her way over to one of the older girls.  There are a few older kids at daycare, and Nola is obsessed with them.  She is always watching what they’re doing and now that she’s mobile, she’s always hot on their trail!  This picture has stuck with me, gnawing at my heart.  I see in my daughter a heart that yearns for acceptance; for inclusion.  To be part of something; to belong.  I know all too well the anxiety, insecurity and pain those feelings can bring, and I already see visions in the future of hurt feelings over slights from friends, anxiety over being or not being considered “popular” and wondering all too often if she has said the right thing, worn the right clothes, or been interested in the right activities.  That breaks my heart.  I’ve been there too, and to be honest, most days I’m still there.  It’s a daily struggle.  But I have felt, and continue to feel God working in my heart, reminding me of the Truth of who I am, and now, who she is and I pray who she will be.

Look, I love the “likes” and the comments, and the recognition.  Blogging, social media – it’s all very “me” focused.  But that’s not what I want to be about, and more importantly, that’s not what I want to model for my daughter.  So while you’ll still see cute outfits, and perfectly edited pictures of smiling people, my heart wants to make it clear that it’s not about me, this life.  It’s not about bringing glory or fame or recognition to myself.  My heart’s desire is that everything I say, everything I do, is designed to turn the focus to Jesus Christ.  I know that HE has given me a love of art and beauty; an appreciation for creativity, and a desire to capture precious moments of this life while it lasts.  I know that HE has designed this life: given me a husband who loves me, and more importantly, loves God and has trusted Jesus as his Savior.  God has allowed us to work, to have jobs that allow us to provide for our family.  I know this sweet, perfect little girl was created for a purpose, and that God has plans for her that are beyond what I could ever dream for her.

So while I share personal things from my life (and my closet) it is out of an overflow of gratitude and thankfulness for this life I have, because I do not, in any way deserve it.

“For from HIM and through HIM and for HIM are all things.
To HIM be glory the forever.” – Romans 11:36

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