Romper: Tea Collection | Bow: Little Poppy Co
10 months of laughter, snuggles, sleepless nights, milestones, tears, diapers, bottles, puffs, rattles, Nick Lachey lullabies. 10 months of worrying more, and loving so much I feel as though my heart could explode. 2 more months and my baby’s age will be measured in years, not months.
I had no idea really, what to expect when Nola was born. I read tons of books, and every scary, contradictory internet article there was, so I thought I was ready for it. It’s hilarious to me looking back now at how completely unprepared I was, and yet, while I would never say that parenting has been or continues to be easy, I have been amazed at how…instinctual the process has been. It seemed such a daunting task to teach Nola how to understand words, and associate words with objects. How to teach her to eat solid food, or how to teach her to crawl, to stand, to wave or clap. But as she’s slowly attempted each of these things, and eventually mastered them (though we’re still working on the standing – still shaky!) I’m surprised at how very little involvement it has taken from me for her to learn these things. Sure I’ve demonstrated, encouraged, gone slow, supported, but I wouldn’t say I feel as though I’ve taught anything. She has mostly developed these very basic, natural skills on her own. I guess maybe that’s what this process is like: you sew seeds, and your kids take them and grow them into their own results. It’s a sobering reminder that even when we feel we aren’t providing an active lesson, our children are watching. I think of that often, especially as we deal with one tragedy after another in our world. I have no idea how to teach her through the scary events; how to explain good and evil; suffering, war, racism, hatred. I know we are a few years off, but the planner in me is already searching for the perfect words to shepherd her little heart through the darkness and to the Light of the world in Christ. It’s a reminder to me that she learns much more from what I do than what I say.
So today, and every day, as tragedy upon tragedy unfolds in our fallen world, I pray that God would not give me the perfect words to say, but rather a heart that trusts in HIS unfailing goodness, even when the world is consumed with evil. A heart that beats with compassion for those suffering, regardless of our differences. And faith to endure, for we know the promises of God are true; HE remains faithful and HE has promised everlasting life and an end to suffering through HIS son, Jesus Christ.
“Therefore, we do not lost heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory which far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary; what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 2:16-18 (NIV)